I've Already Divorced My House -- But I'm Still Here

So we are moving. It wasn't really something we were looking to do but in this crazy real estate market we got lucky and found an amazing deal, in an amazing neighborhood, with amazing potential. It will most certainly be a labor of love for us in the coming years as we update it and make it our own. I dread packing but I cannot wait to move in. And every day we have to wait for the painting, carpeting and other such tasks to be done is beginning to see like an eternity. Am I that anxious? Not really. I'm just over our current house. Staying here is kind of like having to see that boy you dumped every day in math class. It's awkward and you wish you could look away but there's nowhere else to look when he sits right in front of you. That's kind of how I feel about our house. I love it and we've spent the past six years making it our own. We've done a lot of work -- new backyard, new flooring and carpet, some paint, and a whole lot of time. Every tree or plant in this yard was selected and planted by us.

But now that we've signed on officially with the new house it's getting hard to look at this one. Knowing the renters who live here will never admire it or love it the way I do makes me sad. And a bit guilty. A lot of memories live in these walls -- bringing home our puppy, bringing home our child, holidays with family and lots of good times with friends. I feel sad leaving this house and its memories behind. And I'm sad to know our daughter will never remember her first home -- our first home. This was the place that taught us a bit about how to navigate marriage. How to negotiate both our time and our money into improvements that made us both happy. Like the afternoon we used the scrap deck wood to build our BBQ table. That was a great afternoon. But the table is too big and heavy to move with us. And it wouldn't really fit with the new house and yard. So it stays. When I walk out back I will no longer glance at the table and smile at the memory of that day we built it together.

But that's why I'm anxious to move. I can't wait to get that rush of unpacking my dishes into new cupboards. And deciding where precisely that spare chair should go. And making the new wish list of additions and improvements to this new house. And I can't wait to start tucking new memories into those walls. Who knows what we will build there and what memories are just waiting for our family to breathe them to life.